GIVING OUR BOYS PERMISSION TO FEEL.
When Covid restrictions began to heat up in Melbourne I was pressing the go button on a project I had been dying to work on, with Five Mile Books and social worker, best-selling and award-winning author Jessica Sanders. (Who happens to be only 26 years old by the way!) Her book was Be Your Own Man and after seeing the early pages months before, I felt a strong pull and desire to be the one that helps share it with the world. Having worked in publishing as a Publicist for over twenty years now, you develop a keen eye for books that you just know are going resonate well with people. What’s more, the work that was put into the illustrations by the talented Robbie Cathro pulled on my nostalgic heartstrings and the careful, knowing and nurturing words from Jessica meant that it wasn’t just a ‘beautiful’ book to look at but an important one for every boy and parent to share with each other. All I had to do was put it in the right hands.
I have a ten year old boy who is a gentle soul, super creative and is ‘not into ball sports!’ (His words, not mine) and a seven year old daughter who could benefit from understanding early on what truly makes a man. Little did I know that in the months ahead my little family would be confined to a 5K radius and I would be helping my children with remote learning for most of the year. Argh! The fallout from this was that my gentle, social little boy was going to struggle in a way I had never seen before and that while I was pitching this book to media all of the things within it were reminders of the way I needed to help him navigate his feelings of confusion and isolation during this time.
“All feelings, big and small are stored in the same place, if we shut the door on uncomfortable feelings like sadness and fear, we also close the door on feelings like joy and happiness. That’s why it’s so important to stay open to all of your feelings and explore each and every one. “
While reading the book with my son one night, it was this paragraph that shifted the conversation about how ‘hard’ Covid has been for him to how he could express his feelings about it and find an activity to release those difficult emotions. That he decided to turn his room into a diorama, complete with a car scrapyard (pile of unnecessary mess), shopping centre and road that literally takes up every spare bit of space we have left on the floor, I can see that this is his way of self soothing and is serving to be a haven for him when it all gets too much.
Be Your Own Man has been in bookstores since September 1 and the support from media outlets, bookstores and influencers has been wonderful. Jessica Sanders has continually impressed me with her professionalism, maturity, passion and knowledge in the area of gender studies and her work in creating resources for children that can contribute to their future wellbeing in meaningful way is only just beginning.
It’s books and authors like this that reaffirm the power of a good book and why I love doing what I do.
Be Your Own Man is available in all good bookstores and online at Booktopia
